Fall Equinox 2009

Fall Equinox 2009 - a reading (on YouTube)

More than a dozen years ago, I learned to juggle. That Christmas, my father had given me a set of juggling balls and I decided to give them a try. Karen remembered juggling when she was in school and very patiently taught me what she knew. Anymore, I like to use a set of small, suede beanbags that she gave me a few years later.

The trick with three ball juggling is to always keep at least one ball in the air. As one ball is arriving in your left hand, another is always leaving your right. The problem is you can't really watch your hands while you're learning or you'll miss a catch, or one will collide with another and balls will scatter everywhere. As you get more comfortable with the standard underhand throws, you can try tossing them overhand in a pattern not much different from the traditional three-ball cascade.

Once you get the knack of it, juggling is almost meditative. You no longer think about what your hands are doing. In fact, the more you focus on your hands, the more likely you are to interrupt the pattern. Left catch, right toss, right catch, left toss. With the beanbags there is a soft, contenting thump each time one finds your hand and a little squoosh when it leaves. Thump, squoosh, thump, squoosh, thump, squoosh, always in a braided circle, repeating like a mantra. One rising, another falling, the third being redirected by a hand. Like the wheel of life always turning only following mirrored left and right cascades.

Your mind drifts off into simpler patterns. There is no past, no future, only a continuous, peaceful present as you keep the pattern going. Until you realize what you're doing or your thoughts drift off completely. Then, a hand spasms either with enthusiasm or hesitation and you find yourself chasing balls across the room. If you're lucky, they remain in the air and only walk away from you. But even when the pattern is broken, it resumes with a simple toss, toss, catch, toss, catch, toss, and there you are again, in constant balance, catching, throwing and redirecting.

Juggling is constancy in motion. One cycle ending, one beginning, one hanging in the air. One beanbag rising and one falling while I feel another in my hand. Eventually, the cycle, like my concentration, will be broken; one beanbag is bound to hit the floor. But I'll just pick it up, dust it off and toss it back into the air, beginning my simple hand dance once again.

As you know, today is the fall equinox, one of two balance points in the solar year. For me, summer is always a time of juggling, a time when there are too many balls in motion. Even this message is balanced against several other activities and concerns that demand my attention right now. I always look forward to autumn then winter, a time for me when all the balls settle back in my hand to rest for a little while. A year ago, it was just the same, only then the ball that dropped was Tina. Some balls can never be retrieved; they only roll away into memory.

I hope you find balance with all your activities today. Remember to enjoy the day, and hold on to what's important so that it cannot fall beyond your reach.

© 2009 Edward P. Morgan III